I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
