you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
