i jhust puked up my retainher.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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