I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize