I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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