Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
