I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
