If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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