Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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