We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
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you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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