he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
