well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i believe in u and ur pee
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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