Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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