my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
