Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize