Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
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I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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