This girl is more easily done than said...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
