Quick, to the slutcave!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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