brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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