i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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