I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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