Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
