so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
