Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
