Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
