But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
