Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
