Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
