It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
