it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
