hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize