I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
