I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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