everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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