Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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