ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
