The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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