His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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