How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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