I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
