Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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