We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
