I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
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Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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