im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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