Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
