i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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