yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.