I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
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I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.