I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
