Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
