And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
