She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
