theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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