She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
