Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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