omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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