Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
