he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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