Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
