dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
