Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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