She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
