Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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