you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize